I cannot sleep

I cannot sleep .... 

                I fall into a pill induced coma that tires me out. I stare point blank at the fake radium painted stars on my ceiling overtaken by insomnia and wonder why . My subconscious  Free falling into a dreamless state of blankness cold , numb not a thought that dares pass through. 

I cannot sleep .... 

                  Cause I hear the storm brewing outside my window similar to the one tearing my rib cage apart. A tempest that spins within me ,around me . With the debris of your memories scratching  my insides.I am the eye of that very storm . 

I cannot sleep ... 

            As I breath in your fragrance that is still entrapped here . Our bed sheet laced with your musk, my only companion on insomniac nights .your perfume lingers like a ghostly shadow embracing me in winters .

I cannot sleep ...

             Your memories as intoxicating as the liquor bottles I drown into ; Slowly spiraling into cigarette smokes drifting away from me , Your memories like stars in a moonless night countless; diverse spread across the massive universe directionless and still aligned .  

I cannot sleep 

                 Cause tears well up in this kohl lined eyes when My lips crave your kisses ; Desperately trying to remember how it felt like to be in your arms ; Fighting for I refused to believe we were just an illusion. Cause I cannot let go of you . 

I cannot sleep 

On the bed where we made love where you would now never return . When the haunting spirits of unwritten stories choke me . Poems of an undisclosed desires and incomplete romance bleed through the fabric of my skin ... 

So I live through the tiresome nightmares of reality , lie down under the canopy of fictions letting my demons take over in the crazy hope maybe tonight i would finally fall asleep